There will be no chocolate chip cookies in Mulderville today or ever ever ever. FFBBBBLLLTT!!! (close your eyes, stick out your tongue, and blow). Besides having the magnetic superpower of destroying anything computer related in mere seconds, I am also skilled in the art of mixing ingredients in the wrong order. Who knew it was such a big deal? And who, by the way, knew brown sugar could go bad? Oy. Sticky, oozy, half-baked OY. Curtis James, I tried. I tried so hard. I’m just not a baker. I’m a k-nitter, a climber, and popcorn bag maker.
I called up some friends new to town to see if they wanted to join the crazies over at 650 Kellogg for a little knitting and LOST and general hilarity. She was so thankful I’d thought to call them and then said they were actually headed out to hear a lecture given by a visiting Cornell prof who’d just finished some facinating research. I mumbled somehting about that being ‘super cool’ and maybe next time and hung up. How can Charlie’s heroin habit, the renegade “others” in the jungle, and the triangle between Sawyer (Kid Rock), Kate (me…because my hair would look that awesome after 40 days on an island), and Charley from Party of Five ever compete with bowties and research?
So, the cookies were a bust, but the IBC tasted just fine and knitting night was again a racous success. My sister Natalie is catching on famously and has chucked the potholder idea for an impromptu mini-satchel for little Lauren. Nice job. Scooch and Abe are not knitters. They are theives in broad daylight. Baby Wyatt’s blanket now has 4 yards of blue acrylic slimed by the jowels of a brown beast. Mitch is not a knitter either…but he’s a darn good pattern-reader. Kristin is working on more present-mittens in rainbow sweetness while Jo plugs away at the 7 foot strap need for her super-fun bag. Seven feet, people, is long. Paul was absent…on a date with his Baby Jane. She has yet to pick up the needles, but we expect an announcement any day.
We had a cameo by Mister John T. (stage-name, perhaps?) who will soon be famous for the music we love to hear him play. A k-nitting-night theme song is in the works, but he said he needed a little time to soak in the experience. He was the ball-winder for the evening. There is no light in our living room. None. Hi! Here’s your own personal candle! Don’t get too close to the acrylic! Aaron threw the known-system by starting cigar gloves with 2, yes 2, circular needles. He’s progressive and bold…a rebel in our midst. And, in the night’s most momentous breakthrough, Julie finished her mitten, but was sad. So sad. It just wasn’t what she expected. After we talked her down from the knitting ledge of futility, she bodly proclaimed she was not giving up and would continue to knit asymmetrical items. This earned her a heartfelt standing ovation. K-nitting has ups and downs. It’s not all smiles and giggles. The honeymoon phase is over. Let reality begin.