Head ’em up, roll ’em over, pack ’em up, scoot ’em out, grab yer tape-gun…

RawHIIIIIDE! yeeeee-haaaaw! Original lyrics for you purists out there can be found here. That’s a young Clint Eastwood to yer left, there folks…pfewt-pfew!

It would appear that- barring the discovery of an indian burial ground beneath- 650 Kellogg SE has sold. The counter offer to the counter offer was accepted and signatures have been inked. Nothing is certain until we have a check in our hands at close on August 1st. Until then, I shall (figuratively) hold my breath. If we close without incident, we have to vacate by August 15th. If we have to vacate by August 15th, the Shoebox out at the Farm will not be ready. If the Shoebox out at the Farm will not be ready, we will live at Camp Roger (where I no longer work) until the end of September when it shall indeed be ready. I will make it so. End. Of. September.

We have been packing and loading and moving.
And then we pack a little more…and load it…and move it.
And then we pack even more…we load it…and we move it.
Saturday, the boys got super ambitious and took my tv and all the movies.
I still have 2.5 weeks here. &#^*))(#!@@

We’re actually doing quite well, I think. Again, we have really rad friends with big strong muscles (Jeremy the cop) and infinite access to bubble wrap (JoAnn who manages Pottery Barn). Mister Mulder Senior has begun to search out the depths of the basement and clear 30 years of wood working equipment and scraps and plans…for that, I just sit and watch in amazement. I am sure if I watch long enough, a full-scale model of the Statue of Liberty will emerge. I truly believe she was born in such a basement as ours.

For 30 seconds Saturday night, I was a Holland Police Department officer (or a thief, depending how you look at it) as I accidentally swiped his wallet off the dashboard thinking it was Curt’s. I was wrong. Curt’s wallet has a Home Depot card and maybe 10 bucks in it. Jeremy’s wallet has a SHIELD in it…a badge…a real-life LAW & ORDER piece of metal. It is glorious.

I gave it back.
But not before I ‘tinted’ (that’s the slang, folks…stay with me)
the waitress and told her to get me a table STAT.
I was such a natural at carrying the heavy metal that Jere (after non-violently wrestling his wallet away from the preganat lady) told me there was an opening on the Holland PD SWAT team. He’s prolly goin’ out for it. I’m thinkin’ about it as well. Yep. Might be tough, what with a baby comin’ an’ all, but shoot. I figure, you gotta use it while ya got it, ya know?
Our eventual address for the next 100 years:
The Mulders
5651 Montcalm Ave.
Belding, MI 48809
Plan on an October hayride.
Wear flannel.

About texasnorth

TexasNorth is a little farm in Western Michigan. It's home to 5 chickens, 25 longhorn cattle, a coonhound (Banjo), 1 barn cat, a husband, and 3 ridiculously funny children. The mom of this zoo has been known to mow the lawn in a skirt and roast marshmallows after dark. View all posts by texasnorth

11 responses to “Head ’em up, roll ’em over, pack ’em up, scoot ’em out, grab yer tape-gun…

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