This is how my mother answers the phone 9 times out of 10. Not this time.
I present: A conversation from my blogger vacation.
Read it once to get it in your head, and then read it again in warp speed to achieve actual effect.
My mother: Is that you?
Mm: Why are you calling on Daniel’s phone?
Mm: Who is this?
Me: KATE. Yer daughter.
Mm: Are you feeling ok?
Mm: Did you have the baby?
Mm: Why are you calling?
Me: It’s Saturday.
Mm: Is everything alright?
Me: I think so. Are you ok?
Mm: Who? Me? I’m fine. Why?
My mother: So what are y’all doin’ today? Workin’ on the house? I have a quilting class at 4 and then I’m headed out to get groceries. Daddy wants spaghetti tonight…
No kid yet, peeps. Dad arrives this Sunday…just in time for Peanut’s official due date and the Opening Day of gun season. Mom will follow next Saturday after handing her classroom off to a substitute for Thanksgiving. Now is the time to come, kid. I’ve got back-up all over this place. But not on Sunday, ok? I’ve got to sing and it would be oh-so akward to go into labor in front of 3,000 people at the 11am service. Let’s all picture Troy’s face, shall we? But let’s do gamble…I am mathematically due Saturday, November 11th. There was speculation about the 15th, but that was when I was small. I am not small any more. So, you guess (date and time) and I’ll knit the winner a winter hat. Deal?
And here…here is my new best friend, Mister Eddie Graves, trying to kiss me goodbye at the hayride. Oh, sweet child. I think he hung there for 5 minutes without saying anything before I finally realized he wanted to get my attention.
Love you! Talk to you soon…hopefully from the hospital!