I am not even kidding.

There’s a whole deer head in my freezer and the white chicken has a broken leg. Bet’cha didn’t see that one comin’, eh? I know. Welcome to my world.

I sang an entire song yesterday in front of about 3,000 people with the back of my beautiful new red shirt tucked into my undies. To all of you on the South wall and our guest speaker from London… I am so sorry.

Friday night, we were so Winter Bored that the three of us headed to the [gasp] mall. We thought Rylie would love the carousel. We were wrong. Can you see the look of panic and distrust on her face? I hope we have not ruined her forever.

Last night, it took almost 2 hours to get home in snow that was, quite possibly, the craziest I have ever seen. [It’s a toss up between last night and the day I drove to Chicago Midway to pick up Chelsey. Halfway back to Grand Rapids, Chelsey looked over at me gripping the steering wheel and said, “If it helps, Katie, I’m not scared. I’m perfectly fine.”] Curt was driving last night, and we spent most of the time following snowmobile tracks on the side of the road and hugging mailboxes when we lost the two-track. There was no talking. Well, there was one exchange early on: “&$%^^#, Boy. That is enough passing. No more passing. Please. For the sanctity of life and all that is beautiful and right, No. More. Passing.”

We were returning from watching one of the best SuperBowl games I’ve ever seen at a friends’ house. I weighed myself when we finally arrived home: 8 pounds gained between the hours of 7pm and midnight. Sesame Chicken, I heart you. VKs… thank you for a splendid evening. And when L. crawled into my lap with her little nightgown on and snuggled close, I think my heart grew 2 sizes.

I am nearly finished with my first sock ever. Socks look to be a lot like mittens: small, quick, portable projects that have the Do It Again curse of “I’m done! I did it! Dang it! I’m only half way there. Boooooooooo.” Socks (and mittens), you see, traditionally come in pairs. I was lamenting this to an expert knitter the other day and she said, “Well, Kate. There’s an easy fix to that problem. Just knit the second mitten or sock first. That’s what I do.”

Indeed.

…and now, to figure out what to do with my bad self.
Productive would be nice,
Let’s not get our hopes up.
I shall start with making the bed.

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About texasnorth

TexasNorth is a little farm in Western Michigan. It's home to 5 chickens, 25 longhorn cattle, a coonhound (Banjo), 1 barn cat, a husband, and 3 ridiculously funny children. The mom of this zoo has been known to mow the lawn in a skirt and roast marshmallows after dark. View all posts by texasnorth

15 responses to “I am not even kidding.

  • JVK

    I am sorry it took 2hrs to get home last night, but I am glad you made it safely.
    It was fun having you guys hang with us last night. You got to see a side of me that I don’t normally show (go Giants!).

  • CortneyTree

    That WAS a great game, wasn’t it? We are Manning people here in Tennessee, for obvious reasons, so I was quite pleased with the outcome. Plus, come one, who doesn’t love an underdog?!

    Your lone sock looks so great! I thought the same thing when I made my first sock, except that I was (am?) not an expert knitter, so all I could think was, Dear Lord, please let me be able to do that *again*, and if it’s not too much trouble, please let it reasonably match…

  • thekooiet

    I almost peed my pants when I read this!

    It was a good day. A good weekend.

    If only the shirt in undies thing happened at the 6pm service. Nobody would have seen it. That south wall was full. Packed absolutely full at the 11.

    I am sorry too that it took you so long to get home! I saw the dark blue band of snow right over GR and Belding.

    I also need to be productive. The poor rocking chair can’t hold my post Superbowl weight. It’s begin me to take a shower and get dressed. I need a nap though.

    I’m glad you made it home safe.

  • Jessica, Myron and Rylie

    girl….I hear ya on the snow. I wont get started but glad you got home safely!

  • Miss Laura

    I was there with you in that 2-hour drive, except that I was coming from Lansing, was alone, and there were no snowmobile tracks OR mailboxes. The snow was flying directly at me (remember that old screen saver where you feel like you’re flying into the stars? Yeah.) I finally got myself squarely situated behind a semi and our line of traffic spent a lot of time at 20 mph with our flashers on. I feel like we all bonded a little. Awww. I was so tense when I got home at midnight that I decided to scrub down the shower to relax. I know, I’m insane. I’m also VERY tired today. Boo. Glad you made it home okay, too.

  • KatieKate

    Dude…it IS like that screen saver, Laura!!! I was trying to figure out how to explain it and I just couldn’t. But that is exactly what it’s like. And I get lost in it and you feel like you’re not moving and you have to drive loooking out your side window instead of the windshield. It is SO bizarre.

    And, man. That was a seriously good game last night.

  • Shanna, Adam and Gracen

    if it makes you feel better:

    gracen and i went out to eat at a mexican restaurant all by ourselves the other day. i was facing in the booth towards her with my back to the kitchen window and 10 other tables. when we were getting up to leave, i realized that my shirt was tucked up about a foot too high into my bra strap and my preggo pants and undies had ridden down about four inches too far. i never felt the draft, but the kitchen staff and other guests were blessed with about 16 inches of inappropriate exposure.

    i’ve given up on knitting. sometimes it’s best to accept one’s limitations.

    i’m having a hard time with the idea of a deer head in your freezer. who put it there and WHY?!?!

    i know all you northerners and westerners are sick of your snow, but i’m aching with jealousy. shovel it south, please.

  • KatieKate

    It DOES make me feel better. Thank you. Thank you very much.

    I will knit for you.

    And the deer. The deer is Curt’s from November. His first deer ever. We are currently enjoying lots of venison. Whilst freezing some leftover soup, I noticed a large plastic bag in th ebottom of the freezer on top of my meat. What the heck is that, I said- out loud. I reached down…and touched it… and realized it was the head of the trophy. I was touching the ear. Blast that boy- he wants to mount it but ‘doen’t have time’ right now to deal with it. I don’t have time to deal with it right now, either, so I’ll let it be. But darn it all it better be gone by tomorrow, one way or the other.

    And I love our snow. I wish we could have sledded home instead of driven. Preferrably with 4 large Belgian horses leading the way.

  • Dan, Annie, Will and Mocha

    That much snow would be amazing to see around here.
    Hmmm…haven’t tried the carousel yet? we’ll have to do that.
    I’m impressed with the sock or mittens, both are quite amazing I think.
    I love your shop on etsy, and by the way. do you ever make vests? I have been looking for Will a vest and hate them all because they all look like little yuppy golf playing one’s,
    I want an old man, read your book, pipe smoking one, ya know plain, just chocolate brown.
    Let me know, anniesingletary@yahoo.com

  • sunday

    love the sock color.
    i would DIE if worth put a deer head in our freezer.

  • jimmy

    Rylie doesn’t have a look panic in the second picture she is just asking “Mom get up here with me, this is fun”.
    As to the Deer head, I guess when you guys come to the cottage, you’ll have to close your eyes…

    Jim

  • diane

    “knit the 2nd sock first.” love it. it’s brilliant.

    hey kate, i saw 27 dresses the other day. this is my favorite quote from the film, “What’s the point of being appreciated if nobody’s Naked?!”

    also brilliant.

  • wende

    Oh geeze, two hours in the snow. I’m glad you didn’t have to add melting baby to that mix.

    And making the second first is BRILLIANT. Of course, when it comes to knitting–well, yeah, I’d be stuck either way.

    And that baby of yours is beautiful. Stop torturing her. 😀

  • zoom

    Hilarious! And your little girl is such a sweetheart.

  • Becky Swann

    at first I thought you were singing the national anthem somewhere and then was like, it’s not like there are little super bowls being played in hometowns, duh becky!
    but I still think I need elaboration on the underwear/shirt fiasco.

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