hope

Have y’all read that book? Hope for the Flowers? It’s a good one. I have hope.

I have hope that Becky will deliver Ellen soon and safe and sound, that Jess’ surgery will be fine, that Rylie will eat meat one day. I have hope that the Texas humidity will leave my hair this week, that the mud will turn to grass, that my father will email in complete sentences with appropriate punctuation. I have hope that I will find my other green sock and that Seth’s exercises will work. I have hope that snow will turn to rain will turn to sunshine, that Rylie will walk before Summer, that I will find a voice amongst many and be confident enough to speak aloud.

Some days, hope is big and grand and life-changing. Other days, hope is everyday please let there be 1 more egg in the fridge. I’ll take it. The sun is out, it’s going to be 40° today, and I know what’s for dinner (takeout). We are home and trying to get back in the swing of things. Rylie is taking inventory of all the books she hasn’t seen in two weeks and is wondering where that loud Pap is who dances for her. She is also eating breakfast again and learned to climb onto the ottoman last night. Hope, I say again. Hope.

Last night I laughed so hard I cried at something I was reading. I cannot remember that ever happening to me before. Full-on giggling with tears rolling down my face for minute after minute after minute. Curt thought I was finally and officially losing it. It was the whole article, really, but especially one sentence: (a mother of 5 boys talking about how boys will be boys no matter what you do) “If you are quiet and have the patience of Job, as my friend Pam does with her son Carter, who’s 4, your son will still emit shrieks that can make a dog pass out, while running through the house whipping a metal tape measure around his head.” *Catherine Newman in April’s Wondertime magazine. I couldn’t handle it. That picture… the mental image of a little Curt streaking through the house… I just laughed and laughed and laughed. That is hope. I thought it was gone… but no. It’s still there, and it’s making a comeback. Hope.

I’m looking for more.

Thursday: Texas Round-Up