coming home

you know where the hall light switch is in the dark

you know which cabinet hides the good candy

you know that the front door sticks and it’s easier to just go through the garage

your fingers dial old friends’ phone numbers without hesitating

you auto-pilot to the silverware drawer

the house smells exactly like it did in high school

you migrate towards your old chair at the dinner table

you sleep in the same bed and fall asleep to the same sounds

life

you watch your child pressed up to the screen window at twilight, breathing in Summer… and you wonder what it would be like to do it all again

and then you thank God you don’t have to do it all again…

you know, for better or worse, this is where you grew up; it’s where you’re from

and you realize you’re happy it’s where you’re from

you watch your child smelling Summer right where you used to smell Summer… and somehow it erases some of the harder parts of growing up… of being a girl

each laugh of hers covers an old flaw

each smile makes something right again

It’s your home-coming come… and it’s her growing up… backwards and forwards all at the same time.

I cannot wrap my mind completely around it and I don’t understand how it works, but that’s ok.

Welcome home.

 

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About texasnorth

TexasNorth is a little farm in Western Michigan. It's home to 5 chickens, 25 longhorn cattle, a coonhound (Banjo), 1 barn cat, a husband, and 3 ridiculously funny children. The mom of this zoo has been known to mow the lawn in a skirt and roast marshmallows after dark. View all posts by texasnorth

11 responses to “coming home

  • Jim

    And that’s part of the reason the cottage is ours….well said friend. Safe travels.

  • Becky

    I can relate to so many of these, I love it! you put it all into words so well. I always think of home sitting in my parents den and listening to the dryer going, my mom was magically able to recreate this feeling for me when she came to help me out while I was pregnant resulting in the best nap my entire pregnancy.
    It’s such a blessing your folks still live in the same house and Rylie gets to have the same memories!

  • sunday

    I would do anything for BellaRose to have that same experience but sadly my parents chose a different path in life than anticipated. At least she can have that where Worth grew up. Love your words and thoughts.

  • Zoe Speer

    VERY True…all of it. Its wierd how having a child makes you reflect on your on childhood, things you liked and things you didn’t
    Your house is a perfect child wonderland…my kids are already planning our next visit. Blythe may break the car so we can stop by 🙂

  • LoLo

    Thanks for putting into words what I so often feel while I am at my parents with the kids. This also helps to explain why I silently felt very lost when my parents renovated the kitchen and turned my bedroom into an office.

  • Margie

    Wow. Great. This is really great. You did a beautiful job with this, Katie. I could read it again and again…and probably will.

    It’s. Just. Lovely.

  • jtp

    what a beautiful post…and a killer pool- more details on that pool please 🙂

  • Julie

    love it. love it.

  • Heather

    reading you makes me want to keep being a mom and keep making it home. thanks Kate.

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