in case I forget

Dearest Rylie,

Hola, Kid.  It’s been awhile since we last chatted. Our lives are screaming by, what with you being 3 and all.  You’re a busy kid.  Let’s catch up a bit, shall we?

Yesterday we took some time out and drove to Grand Rapids to meet with Jami at Spectrum Hospital.  Jami is a Speech Pathologist, and we had a special appointment to have you checked out (again) to see how things are going with your speech.  You have Apraxia.  Childhood Apraxia of Speech (CAS), specifically, which is a catch-all diagnosis for speech disorders (not delays) in children with no medical initiation.  No syndromes, no autism, no real obvious cause.  Before your brother or sister comes along in 3 weeks and turns our life upside down for a bit, we wanted to have you re-evaluated.  There will be no losing you in this life-transition, Kid.  I promise.

Girl, I heard you say things with Jami I never knew were possible.  It’s obvious you like her, and I feel good about adding her to your therapy routine.  She is confident you will talk.  She is confident you are in there somewhere.  She is confident you are the sweetest thing ever.  So after SuperKid comes, after insurance denies us (because Speech is almost never covered), and after mom can drive again we’ll start seeing Jami twice a week.  You’ll still go to special preschool, but I really think the added one-on-one time with Jami will be awesome for you.

So that’s the update, medically.

I’d also like to capture a few special moments we’ve had in the past week:

1. We had an extra long OB appointment because you climbed up on the exam table after me and insisted the doctor use the infant heartbeat monitor on you. We didn’t find anything, but you were pleased nonetheless.

2. You were silent for more than a half-hour in the car after I gave you an empty egg carton to draw on.  Little did I know that whoever returned it left their used and broken egg shells inside it for you to find.  And play with.  And stack.  And put snacks in.  And color.  Thank you, who ever you are. Awesome.

3. You found some random keys and asked if you could have them.  I was in a serious online bill-paying groove and said yes, sending you happily on your way in your pjs and bare feet.  Approximately 24 minutes later I became suspicious at the silence and walked out to the living room.  I found you outside on the front porch in 2 feet of snow, repeatedly testing the keys in the lock with our door wide open.  The 3 barn cats were scampering in and out dragging pieces of stolen bread with them.  Abe was watching you apathetically from the front steps (seriously- what is this dog’s purpose?).  A few nosey chickens were gathered around you offering useless advice, and our house heat was pumping full blast.  I think we are personally responsible for last week’s thaw in the MidWest. Please don’t tell your father.

I watched you for about 2 minutes before you finally saw me and proudly yelled, “Open!”

Yes, Dearest.  Open.

We only have a couple more weeks of ‘just us.’  I will never have this alone time with another child- that will always be ours.  I want you to know that you have taught me everything about being a parent, being ready for anything, and loving something so much it hurts.  I cannot imagine my life without you, you crazy silly joyful head-strong bird of a child.

Now, shut the door.

Love, Mom

[photo: my most common view from the computer- Ry and barn cat Fred.  Fred is Ry’s favorite. Fred puts up with a lot.]


About texasnorth

TexasNorth is a little farm in Western Michigan. It's home to 5 chickens, 25 longhorn cattle, a coonhound (Banjo), 1 barn cat, a husband, and 3 ridiculously funny children. The mom of this zoo has been known to mow the lawn in a skirt and roast marshmallows after dark. View all posts by texasnorth

19 responses to “in case I forget

  • Sunday Grant Photography

    oh katie there is just so much to say right here! that letter to rylie, as always, is just awesome. you really “get” your child. i get BellaRose, but could never put it into words like you do. i am standing at the other end of pregnancy now with a newborn at home earlier then i thought and i do miss my time with my sweet BellaRose (but am really loving our current state). Live it up! love you friend and can’t wait to hear about superkid!

  • Cathy

    Chuckle and tears all in one. Oh that is funny about the door though. Glad to hear your appointment went well. She is such a sweetie.

  • Jim

    As I eat my girl scout cookies (from GD), I was wondering where the blast of heat last week came from, now I know….life is good with little ones in it

  • Amy

    so sweet. She does seem to be quite the spunky child (and you wouldn’t want it any other way, right!?)

    Looking forward to superkids debut on the outside…..and you are so right to relish this sweet time with the two of you… only gets better with the second, but this IS special first child time!

  • Jessica Carr

    I tend to put egg shells back in the carton but I dont think those were mine!

    I am so gal d things went so well yesterday. I sure was thinking of yall. Enjoy that sweet time. In a month or so you will look back and not even remember what it was like to have only one. I mena not that you will forget RJ in any way it will just seem so….different, in a great way.

    Eat up this time and then eat up the next phase. Its all so grand!

  • annie

    what a sweet note. she is an awesome girl. glad that the speech pathologist is helping so much, i know it’s wonderful to see progression. it’s amazing how we love them so much and want everythiing to be just be easy for them.
    i can’t believe you are due in just 3 short weeks, that went crazy fast. glad you are enjoying this time with ry, she’s going to be such a great big sis.

  • Jtp

    i just love your letters….

  • shanna Riggsbee

    Perhaps my favorite letter so far. Love.

  • ellen

    yes insurance companies – speech disorders, NOT DELAYS, so cover them i say, COVER THEM! if you need someone to stand beside you on a soapbox about this, i’m your girl. so excited for you all about Jami. and would you like a dog with a purpose? i have one that i recall you asked to be sent to you before. i might take you up on it, because currently her purpose it to follow me around at. all. times.

  • Zoe Speer

    Sweet letter,sweet mom, sweet kiddo.
    Can’t wait to see Superkid!

  • beckyswann

    It’s amazing how much we love our girls! I feel like I know her the way you descibe her! You two were made for eachother! And I’m sure super kid will fit right in with you guys! You will be doubly blessed!

  • stephanie

    just beautiful. i love you friend.

  • Laura



  • Margie

    Tears in my eyes…”open.”

  • Chad

    Love it. These letters are pure gold…book material…even if it’s just her scrapbook.

  • Lisa

    That last paragraph made me cry. Time is so sweet and so fleeting. I know this next phase will be incredible for you guys in its own right, but this one…right here, right now, you will always keep pinned to your heart.

    You’re an amazing, Kate. Amazing!

  • Stephanie

    This is why I can’t think of having another child. Cohen is so *~perfectly perfect~* that I want to give her every ounce of love every moment every nuzzle. She deserves it. But I know I’ll change my mind someday. I am so inspired by your letters that I have begun a journal for Cohen of love letter from her Mama. She deserves it. And like you said before there will be a day when it seems like things are so bad and she will need to know that they were good once. She is the sunshine of my life just like Ry and Superkid are to you.

  • Julie Lenger

    thank you for always saying the words about being a mom – that make me cry – and that i wish i could put into words.
    love you all.

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