It’s possible that by the time you read this Monday morning I will have died.
Well, either died or am sitting on the basement floor with one sock on weeping. Rylie is probably dragging Gideon around in her wagon while he screams for food. If we got the WB channel, I’d have old re-runs of 90210 on, too.
It’s not been that bad, but Lordy I am spent. Tired. Confused as to which day it is. My parents left early this morning, leaving us to our 4-person family self and I am a little nervous. How the heck do I get Ry to school on time? Do I have to be clothed? Does Ry have to be clothed?
This kid- this Gus– he eats. That’s what he does. He eats. Ry, Ry didn’t eat for the first 2 months. We used to beg and plead with her to finish 2 ounces. Gus, Gus will nurse. Gus will take a bottle. Gus will take ounces upon ounces of anything you put in front of him. He poops it out immediately and then asks for more. He’s crazy. He’s amazingly handsome, but he’s crazy. I was thrown into the world of cluster feeding– which NO ONE EVER TALKS ABOUT because it is a deep and dark hole of early baby life.
The first week, Gus would eat for 5 hours and then sleep for 4, eat for 5, sleep for 4. This weekend, he seems to be evening out a bit but can still marathon the tar out of a session. Fortunately, his longest periods have been at night. I move into his room at 11pm. I feed him. And then we sleep. If we sleep for 6 hours, rock on. If not, I feed him. For now. I know every doctor and website out there says not to let a newborn sleep longer than 5 hours, but this kid is eating and gaining weight and so for now it’s how we roll.
The hardest adjustment has been sweet Rylie… who has not been jealous or angry, just sad. She wonders where I am. She wonders when Gus will give her a high-five. She wonders why I am always feeding him. She misses me and I miss her terribly. Sometimes when I am nursing, she’ll crawl up on my lap facing me and hug me so tight… and I just smile and cry. She’s amazing. She’s had my parents here for the past week, which has been invaluable. Lots of field trips, lots of laughs, lots of attention. But, as I said, they left his morning and real life begins, um, immediately. To you who have sent Rylie cards and letters and photos- thank you. Truly, so incredibly sweet. The kindness of others during this time has been overwhelming and so greatly appreciated. May I just say that I love all of you… in a hormonal, post-pregnancy, tired but very happy Mom kind of way. I do. I love you.
We’ll make it.
It’s just going to be really sloppy for awhile.
[photos: So, they’re obviously siblings, right?]