I will pummel you. Because I like you.

We’re in a world of hurt over here, Folks.  The shoving has begun.  Ry has starting hitting in frustration, in curiosity, in rebellion… and it’s ugly.  In some situations she’s completely fine… and in others I find myself looking for a hole to jump into.  I realize almost every (honest) parent deals with this at some point, but when it’s YOU and YOUR kid you feel like the worst person in the world. 

I recently read a really decent article on this that went beyond the ethereal, ‘Get on their level and explain that it hurts other people.’  Don’t get me wrong- that’s brilliant… but when you get on my kid’s level she hits you.  Here’s a short excerpt:

Choose durable playmates and understanding parents. While your son is working on learning gentleness, it can reduce the stress on everyone if you spend most of your time with easy-going, active kids who don’t take being hit too seriously. Spending time with parents who understand young children’s clumsy attempts at being social, can help reduce your stress and sense of ostracism about your child’s behavior. [ivilliage.com]

There was so much more to the article, but I really appreciated that paragraph.  It is not uncommon for children with apraxia to scream and be physical when trying to show excitement or distress (awesome) Happy, sad, excited, frustrated, testy, tired, silly… it’s all resulting in hitting these days.  It’s all rolled into this terrible Three Year-Old Phase / I Can’t Make Words Yet combo…

and sometimes it’s awful.

Thank you to my durable, encouraging, understanding friends and family… and their kids.  As a parent when your child has been hit or shoved or yelled at by another, what kind of response do you appreciate most from the other parent?  I rely heavily on the sincerest of sincere apologies and sometimes buying them pie.

Gus Man is 4 months old today.  Holy crap.  Last Tuesday, we were given the green light to take his braces off 12 hours a day… that’s 2 months early!  We’ll have a check up to make sure everything is holding steady, but for now his legs are free during the daytime.  It’s heaven. 

He is still not sleeping well.  Or soundly.  Or for any length of time without serious assistance… and much of that is my fault.  I have been a wuss this time around with letting him figure it out on his own.  It’s hard to let him cry it out when you know that simply touching him will let both of you sleep.  I also don’t think he needs to eat at 3am… I think he knows I’ll come get him.  I love him.  He’s very cute.  And, very smart. I’m thinking of starting him on cereal soon to see if that helps him sleep a bit. The jury is out on that method, but hey.  

I’m the last to judge these days.

He’s sooooo so so very much better than ever before, and we still like him very much.  He saves his biggest smiles for Rylie, which is just about the cutest thing ever.

For better or worse, we’re headed up north with the rest of the Mulder clan and cousins galore for our annual camping trip to Platte River.  Let’s take Monday off and meet back here Thursday, ok?

Happy 4th!

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About texasnorth

TexasNorth is a little farm in Western Michigan. It's home to 5 chickens, 25 longhorn cattle, a coonhound (Banjo), 1 barn cat, a husband, and 3 ridiculously funny children. The mom of this zoo has been known to mow the lawn in a skirt and roast marshmallows after dark. View all posts by texasnorth

19 responses to “I will pummel you. Because I like you.

  • Nancy Lee

    have a wonderful time…

    • texasnorth

      I started praying last week.
      Please don’t let us get kicked out of the campground.
      Please don’t let us get kicked out of the campground.
      Please don’t let us get kicked out of the campground.

  • Colene

    Unless your child viciously attacks mine and tries to gouge her eyes out, I don’t expect pie. I get it. Sometimes I feel like screaming and shoving people too.

    Love. love. love that picture of Ry!! What a cutie patootie!

  • mvstephenson

    Love the picture of Rylie, she looks like such a big girl. Her hair is so cute! I think the hitting is pretty understandable. She has a new little brother, she can’t communitcate very well, plus being excited/angry. It has to be frustrating for her. As for Gus, cereal helped us A LOT!! We also have a book that saved us!! We read just about every one there is and this one is the only one that worked. Let me know if you want to borrow it or I can just email you the main idea. Also, for us it seems that my milk doesn’t have very much fat in it and Garrett does need to eat at least once a night. He still eats every two hours during the day, too. Just thought I’d share! Hope he starts sleeping better!

  • beckyswann

    I think working on parenting with your friends that are working on it too and are understanding is such a blessing! We are all in this together.
    Also GREAT news about Gus, he is adorable, I would always go get him too:)

  • jtp

    we are pushers too, and we don’t share. it’s embarassing in public, but hey, it’s life. Glad to know you have a pusher too… Hope your trip is excellent!!!!!

  • Margie

    Can’t wait to see you back next Thursday. Have a wonderful trip and hang in there. I can’t believe Gus is 4 months old. Love knowing he and Riley are in smile-city together. It’ll give the journey some beautifully memorable moments. And great photo-ops.

  • Chad

    Gus looks to be sporting a pink hat, and he is not amused by it.

    • texasnorth

      Yes- I wondered who’d catch that. As we dig through Ry’s baby clothes for neutrals, she pull sout old favorites and dresses Gus. It’s ridiculous. Look at his face!

  • Amy Dantzler

    I sooooo relate. Si is a hitter. He has been a hitter for at least one year now. But, he has come a long way in learning not to hit. He is now at the point where he raises his hand to hit in frustration, remembers he shouldn’t, and instead does the mature thing and throws himself in the floor screaming. Progress!

  • Amy B.

    My Gideon has generally been the pushed, not the pusher. I really just like for the other mom to be paying attention and acknowledge what happened, if it was a serious kind of push. Mostly, though, I work on teaching Gideon how to handle it – telling the pusher to stop, then moving away from them, and finally coming to me about it (if it’s not knock-down, drag-out serious) – instead of immediately whining to me about it.

    All kids have their phases, their things. And I like for Gideon to figure out how to work things out on his own. No kids – and no moms – are perfect. Pie is definitely not required!

  • Sunday Grant Photography

    I adore that paragraph! It makes so much sense because if your child is not a hitter they are doing something else and not having to explain your toddler to anyone is awesome. I mean come on they are toddlers and they are trying to figure out life! We are trying Hollings on rice cereal currently and currently she is not real into it. We will just keep trying. Gus really is super kid! He is precious.

  • LoLo

    I get it…totally! Since G learned to walk (at 9 mos) he has pretty much begun everything with a running start and finished with a huge tackle. Can’t tell you how many times I’ve been flattened by him when I wasn’t prepared for the blow. Still trying to work this out, but i am beginning to think that it’s just how he is going to be. Yes, TOUGH friends really help TONS (and lots of sports)!!

  • michelle

    mine is a biter! I so relate….

  • annie

    o i just want to hug you right now. your probably getting a lot of that from your family this weekend. i hope you have a wonderful time and some breaks.
    hitting, o hitting. been there girl. will went through a hitting stage for about 3 months and it made me so sad. i so can identify with your feelings. i think one thing that someone told me that helped was that stages aren’t forever, don’t label your child a hitter because putting them in that box is saying they won’t get out of it. it helped me to view it that way when will hit a little boy at the park one day for no reason, a stranger no doubt. i told the mom that he was going through a stage of hitting and apologized. she was so kind, i think most parents understand. but apologizing without making excuses is the way to go i would say.
    your little man is so awesome, he just so cute and cuddly! so happy for you all that he gets his casts off early for so long. i hope you are breathing a breath of fresh air.
    your a great great mom!

  • Miss Laura

    I have always thought Rylie looks exactly like Curt, but she looks an awful lot like you in that photo there. I always find it so funny when that happens.

    As for the shoving/hitting…you’re probably spending most of your energy being patient with her, but remember to be patient with yourself, too.

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