a resolution

Dear Husband,

It’s time for our weekly meeting… our 10 minutes of guaranteed face-to-face time… and you are on the phone with a client.  Abby is crying through some serious belly bubbles and I am trying to type and let her work it out. Alone.

It’s obviously a tough conversation… with the client.  Nighttime phone calls are rarely cause for celebration.  I am constantly amazed at your ability to diffuse tension.  To remain calm and get your point across without yelling.  To be the better person.  It’s a gift.  You have a gift.  It’s a little annoying, actually… particularly when you use these superpowers on ME.  But, I digress.

You are built for management.  Encouraging people to go one step farther than they think they are able.  Pulling the best out of a sticky situation.  Cleaning up other people’s messes (unless it involves puke, but we’re working on that).

It’s not the first time work has followed you home.  Sometimes, it follows us on vacations.  SOMETIMES, it comes to the hospital when I am giving birth to a child.  Let’s face it… it’s not always a 9 to 5  job. I’m ok with that.  You look fabulous in a suit.

You make a clean break from Business Land by coming home and driving tractors.  Hauling hay.  Swinging hammers.  Teaching yourself about electrical circuits.  Rebuilding something you built last week but figured out how to do better.  Taking Gideon out in the Land Cruiser.  Doing exercises with Rylie.  Holding Abby while her belly pops and bubbles.  You are a champion.  A CHAMPION, Husband.  Oh, I know there are areas you’d like to improve on.  You probably have a spreadsheet about it.  But, lemme just say you are a good man. It should be said and often.

It’s incredibly popular these days to dismiss husbands.  Lots of people are making lots of money by making men simple.  Uncaring.  Useless.  An inconvenience.  Couldn’t find the kid’s pjs if I drew you a map (ok, the last one is true and you know it).  It’s too easy and acceptable these days to buy into that, especially after a crazy day at home like today.  It’s easy to think my life is more complicated than yours and we’re built differently and sarcasm saves the day.

But hey- I will not be that wife, ok?  I will not purposely speak poorly of you to anyone.  Ever.  That’s my focus for this year.  To build you up.  To set you up for better work… even if that means stepping up my ironing game. To clear the way for easier family-time at home.

When I am frustrated- and I am.  Often.  I know.– I will remember how you think my pot roasts are better than your mother’s.  How you came home late Tuesday, but with a purple Valentine’s Day iris for your Rylie.  How you  thought to set up the cows so the driver could pick them up alone– and he loves us for it.  How your clients want to hang out with you when you’re not working.  How my father calls you for advice.

Read that last one again.  It’s worth a second look.  

You are a good man, and I’m not the only one who thinks so.

I don’t think we’ll get to finish our ‘meeting’ tonight.  S’ok.  I got all the bills paid and yelled to some people on Facebook. And I had a chance to be thankful instead of agitated.  And I need to do that more often.

I will do that more often.

Love, me

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About texasnorth

TexasNorth is a little farm in Western Michigan. It's home to 5 chickens, 25 longhorn cattle, a coonhound (Banjo), 1 barn cat, a husband, and 3 ridiculously funny children. The mom of this zoo has been known to mow the lawn in a skirt and roast marshmallows after dark. View all posts by texasnorth

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