[(in)Able is a community group for moms of kids with special needs. We’re a part of a larger group of women in all stages of life over at (in)courage. Every other Wednesday, you’ll find a letter here specifically (in)couraging and (in)abling women in their journey as a mom of kids with special-needs. You can join us daily HERE.]
Today’s post is from dear, sweet Missy. You can find Missy writing anonymously about the mishaps of daily life with an Engineer, a child with an Autistic Spectrum Disorder, and a preschooler who’s convinced she’s 14. She is a Southern transplant living the dream in the New England area. The mishaps are a’plenty.
The Way We Roll
We felt like we were rolling along pretty well; my husband and I. I had just delivered our first child, a boy, and we were euphoric. That first year and a half rolled along beautifully. And then, things changed. We hit some bumps in the road and began to pursue a medical diagnosis for our son’s delays and behaviors.
“Your son has a form of Autism called Pervasive Developmental Disorder – NOS
, with a Global Developmental Delay.” They were, by turns, words we were expecting and words we were taken by surprise to hear. Parenting is a journey.
With the pronouncement of these words, we now saw, at the very least, that our journey would include some mountainous terrain.
Since the time of our firstborn’s diagnosis at age two, we’ve been struggling to make it work as the parents of a child with an Autism Spectrum Disorder. As with all things in the life of a Christ Follower, we were and are totally dependent upon our God to see us over every bump, hill and mountain. And He does not disappoint. Looking back over the last 7 years, since that initial diagnosis, we can see where God has gently nudged us this way, and that; times when He allowed our momentum to flat out fail so that we would be dependent upon Him to get us going again; and people that He has provided sweet friendships with, to soothe the feelings of isolation.
We were recently acknowledging how very grateful we are to be this child’s parents. God has enabled us to provide for his (and now his little sister’s) needs, emotional and otherwise. I’m able to forgo my teaching career to stay at home right now. We are able to provide stability for this child that craves routine and structure. God provided both a “feeler” and a “thinker” in this parenting team. Our daily prayer is that He doesn’t let us get rolling too far down either one of these paths; and that between the two of us, we’re providing a pretty good team regarding our parenting of this special child that God has given to us.
Does that mean that we get it right all of the time? Definitely not! In fact, our parenting journey has been downright comical, as we are two very messed-up individuals (see earlier admission about having one thinker and one feeler!) trying desperately to get it half-right as often as possible. Our reliance, though, is not upon ourselves. It is upon The One from whom all wisdom and grace flow. That’s Who keeps us rolling along. When we think we can’t possibly go one more round of the “how in the world do we get through this stage?” parenting game, He’s right there. We can sometimes literally feel Him pushing us forward, prompting us to simply love this kid; and to keep moving forward one moment at a time. In faith? Yes. But also, in the assurance that He’s got our back. And that He’s gone before us. He’s got this. He’s got us.
“ The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”
Deuteronomy 31:8 (NIV)
And when we get stuck in a rut during a particularly difficult parenting moment, we have to remind ourselves to rely on God to get us through. It may not be the smoothest ride, but as long as we’re relying on His strength, we’ll keep on moving forward. Andthat’s the way we roll.