She crawls to the hallway mirror every day, every hour… to peek.
It’s stunning, really. She giggles at that Little looking back at her. She jabbers away to herself… kissin’ and high-fivin’ and smilin’ at the pretty, toothless, chubby girl looking back. I see you, Sweet Girl, and you are gorgeous.
I don’t know when exactly it all changes. Maybe junior high. Maybe earlier, now. But that sweet joy of seeing your reflection? It disappears somewhere in between high chairs and bus stops. We notice our friend’s clothes, we feel awkward in our skin, we want what others have. It is as certain as the sun rising… we women will struggle. We will be discontent and disillusioned, and over time the reflection becomes something to fix. Something that is not funny. Our eyes, they have changed.
Then maybe we make some amazing friends who make us feel normal, awesome, beautiful again. We remember that everyone’s different for a reason, that the internet and magazines are impossible, that we look like our grandmother… and we like it. We begin a new journey of acceptance and repair.
Then maybe we have children… you actually grow life within you… and our body changes to make it work- everything from the tips of our hair to the shape of our hips. We grow children and we find ourselves, again, confused with the reflection and the wardrobe and the image staring back. Our eyes, they are fickle.
For now, for such a sweet little time… her reflection is pure joy.
Let me remember this time… this sweet, sweet time… when that reflection was right and perfect and the best part of every day. And let me remind her, when the image fades and feelings get cloudy, that she is beautiful and eyes are tricky. People are tricky. Sight is tricky.
Best to look with the heart, as He does, and remember that all is as it should be. And, it is good.
1 Samuel 16:7
The Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.
January 24th, 2013 at 9:51 am
January 24th, 2013 at 3:22 pm
What a beautiful post!
As an aside, when Ruth was about two, she had an imaginary sister. Kalley was always around, but I only met her once. Once, we were in a department store, with mirrors all around. At one point, while I was browsing, Ruth took a few steps away from me, and started screaming hysterically, “Mom! Mom! Did you know Kalley was going to be here today?! She’s right over here! Come meet her!” Of course, Kalley was Ruth’s reflection in the mirror. It’s one of my favorite memories ever!
January 24th, 2013 at 4:19 pm
Yes ma’am! And, amen!!
January 24th, 2013 at 8:52 pm
Yes!!! and Thank You!
January 25th, 2013 at 12:25 pm
Beautiful post. Just like you.