The glassblower knows that while in the heat of beginning, any shape is possible. Once hardened, the only way to change is to break.
I panic sometimes.
I panic thinking I am too complicated to get this life right. Too much to live the full life God desires for me.
I am too anxious, too plain, too flawed, too proud, too hurt, too small to be functional or loved or worthy or respected. I do not have the right tools, my kitchen is too small, my brain is too fast, my children too everything, my demons to loud.
All true statements, in the moment.
But here is the truth, in Life:
22 The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
23 they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
He is faithful. He believes in second and third and fiftieth chances. His love is louder, stronger, faster, and bolder than my fears. Every time.
Thank you for listening to my journey over the past few months… the sorting and thinking and confessing out-loud. Thank you for the cheering and the laughter and the quiet nods of acceptance.
You make living out loud not so scary. You make room for change. You are the hands and feet… and eyes and ears… of Christ.
And you are fabulous. Flawed and ever-more-so fabulous.
So let me tell you this:
that book you’ve been nudging me about?
No one has come knocking on my door.
It’s just me and a friend (Kaylee… who you can find over here a lot) putting our words together and making it happen… on our own. I don’t even know what that means, but I do know we have a really serious Google Document and it’s color-coded and everything SO WATCH OUT.
We’re doing it on our own because we know the more we tell our stories about singleness and anxiety and dating and infertility, special-needs parenting and marriage relationships and husbands who love spreadsheets…. the more we speak those stories out loud the more we realize we are not ‘too much’ for God. We are not bad. We are not beyond help, and we are certainly not alone.
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you.Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.
You are only alone so long as you stay quiet.
It is time to break the glass.
See what you started?
See you Monday.
We love you here at TexasNorth.