inducing the crazy

Amanda over at The Habit of Being wrote earlier this week about things she does that drives her Mister a little batty. I knew as soon as I read her post that I would have to ask Curt… not because I didn’t already know some of his answers, but because I wanted to see his reaction.

It was awesome.

So I say, “Curt. You wanna help me with tomorrow’s essay?”

And he says, “Absolutely.”

And I say, “Ok. I need you to think of a couple of things I do that annoy you.”

And he put up his hands and said calmly but firmly, “I AM NOT DOING THAT. I WILL NOT DO THAT.”

And he ran down the hall to our bedroom and slammed the door behind him.

I followed, of course. 

“Curt,” I said. “It’s ok. It will be fun. I promise I won’t get mad.”

“It’s risky.” he whispered, hiding under our quilt.

“I know. I know it is. But it will be worth it.”

He felt it was safer to write his list down rather than speak it out loud.

I love that man with all my broken heart.

notes[His handwriting. Whoa. I mean… is English his second language? Does he write upside-down? It’s a mystery to me.]

  1. toothpaste cap 1/2 on and it builds up with crusty toothpaste and then the cap will hardly go on at all
  2. shoes stay exactly where they are taken off until all her shoes are out of the closet
  3. packs for vacation on the very last day
  4. drives fast on the gravel road even the day after the van has been washed
  5. weeds the garden and beds and throws the weeds in my nice lawn and lets them lay for 3 days

I’m in a public library right now, and I am laughing (silently) so hard I am crying.

It’s awkward.

I so so so very much want to comment on the list. I want to explain and clarify and say that a couple of things are flat-out lies. But I will not. I WILL NOT. I will let it stand as written. It says so very much about so very much, right?

What’s on your husband’s or wife’s or roommate’s list?

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About texasnorth

TexasNorth is a little farm in Western Michigan. It's home to 5 chickens, 25 longhorn cattle, a coonhound (Banjo), 1 barn cat, a husband, and 3 ridiculously funny children. The mom of this zoo has been known to mow the lawn in a skirt and roast marshmallows after dark. View all posts by texasnorth

9 responses to “inducing the crazy

  • Dana L.

    Be proud it is sooooo short! My husband would still be writing! 🙂

  • Cortney Hammontree Hall

    Remove #1 and replace drives fast on gravel with just “drives too fast” and this might BE Matt’s list about me. In my defense, there is no room in the closet for my shoes anyway, his shoes are huge and take up all the space. And I figure if I leave the weeds he’ll mow over them and it will all work out.

  • Verna

    Bahaha! I have a pretty good idea of a few things that annoy my husband, but I’m curious what he would say. 🙂

  • Regina C.

    There is a musical called, “I Do, I Do” and a song in that show called, “Nobody’s Perfect.” I starts out very much like this and ends with them yelling at each other. it’s hysterical. I am too afraid to do this with Coach just yet. It’s only been four years. Whoa.

  • Cathy

    I’ve often wanted to write a topic on this on my blog but chickened out many, many times! The biggest annoyance would be putting the milk back in the fridge which has a couple of sips in it and opens the next bottle. (I drink skim, he drinks whole). Also, when a prescription bottle is empty, puts it on the counter instead of throwing it away. What is it with that?

  • Kim Aguilar

    Jose and I each have lists a mile long. We drive each other completely nutzo. At all times. Examples: He hates, HATES it when I don’t answer his phone calls right away. Just so the world knows, I do NOT answer when I’m in the loo or otherwise engaged. Geez. And I? Well, it’s hard to narrow it down to just one thing that I cannot stand, but how about the fact that the man is a BEAST when he hasn’t eaten anything for YEARS because he FORGETS. Phew. Happened tonight and I am NOT OKAY with it.

    Um. I think you get to post your list now. But we already know about the open cupboards. 🙂

  • Lizzy

    There used to be a furniture store nearby that had these questions in big letters above the door (I think they were trying to get you to buy a new bed or something). One in particular made me giggle…”Do you find your partner disturbing”…ummm.. Yup!!! 😛

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