beautiful mess

cactus

I’ve lost my words.

And, that’s scary for this girl who… well, nothing is real until she is able to think out and write it out and see it out in front of her.

My little family’s life turned upside down last month. I don’t want you to worry- we are all absolutely ok, and we will be ok. I think this season of Lent is particularly appropriate for us as we carve out new expectations and a new home and new normals. It is an incredible story of grace and redemption in progress… but, that’s just it. It’s in-progress and unstable, which makes my brand of therapy (writing) more difficult.

This little space here has always followed some quiet rules of etiquette… truth being the first and foremost consideration. Whether topics be difficult or silly, they are always true. To ignore my life the past 2 months here at Apple Pie, Anyone? would feel untrue, so I want to acknowledge it. But, as with most of life, a story is so very rarely ONLY yours. No, it’s often tied to this person, who’s bound to the next, who brushes up against the next. That’s what makes a village a village- the connection and the sharing at different levels. And because there are so many strings and hearts and unknowns attached, this will have to be true but silent. For now. Some things are simply not meant to be coached through the internet.

I need to give myself permission to let this space wander a bit, to be irregular and unpredictable. Maybe even a little boring. I say this only because, as I mentioned before, it’s not real unless I write it… and whether 1 person hears it or 527, I need to say it out loud. There may be more menu posts and more Blue House posts for a bit until I can get my heart to make words and think out loud again.

For now, I am supposed to sit in the beautiful mess of our life.

The story will come.

It always does.

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About texasnorth

TexasNorth is a little farm in Western Michigan. It's home to 5 chickens, 25 longhorn cattle, a coonhound (Banjo), 1 barn cat, a husband, and 3 ridiculously funny children. The mom of this zoo has been known to mow the lawn in a skirt and roast marshmallows after dark. View all posts by texasnorth

9 responses to “beautiful mess

  • Barb Ward Dittrich

    Love you, friend! Wander away, and take all the space you need.

  • Kay Williams Yount

    From what you wrote this morning, there must be something big . . . perhaps even catastrophic . . . happening in the life of your young family. Through your blog, I feel I have come to know you. All sorts of possibilities run through my mind as I ponder what would it take to cause a resilient-seeming writer screech to a halt . . . saying “My little family’s life turned upside down last month,” and “I am supposed to sit in the beautiful mess of our life.”

    You wrote “the story will come. It always does.” Still, I worry.

    However, I am confident that, with time, you will turn whatever has happened into a new adventure.

  • SRR

    Despite your pleas, I will worry. And I will continue to check back in, even if it is to read old posts; because ya know, sometimes, you just need a little Apple Pie in your life.
    In time you will find your words Katie and we will all be here to listen.

  • Carley

    Hope you’re okay. I know you said you are. But. I will worry with the others.

  • Amy L

    Sometimes times just being present is all you have space for. Carry on!

  • Kay Williams Yount

    I would love for you to pick up from where you are right now . . . with no doubling back. Start from the “now” point and move forward, bit by bit, until you find your footing is once again secure.. Your readers will be with you. We miss you and your family. Perhaps you miss us too?

    Kay (December 5, 2015)

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