Mom, who is that guy?
(We are watching football.)
MOM. Who is that GUY? With his arm up? Who is that white guy?
(I blink quickly but do not move.)
That guy is the quarterback. He throws the ball to the other guys.
Well, who’s that black guy?
That BLACK GUY! What does he do?
(I physically flinch. I am not ready for this conversation. I reach in my mind for conversations from my childhood to guide me, but there are none. NONE. Sixteen years of military dependency, and most of that isolated on 2 small bases overseas, offered plenty of opportunities to discuss country politics, rank, and branch loyalty. But color? Everyone was the same color: green camo. It’s not an excuse, but it explains why I am unprepared on a Saturday afternoon to talk about this particular brand of diversity with a four-year-old. I am simply not ready.)
He’s the receiver. He catches the ball the quarterback throws.
(I watch him as he tilts his head.)
I don’t like him. He’s weird.
(And here, my heart sinks.)
Gideon! Bud. He’s not weird. God painted us all kinds of different shades of colors in this world. Sometimes it tells us what country our family is from. Sometimes it tells us we’ve been in the sun too long. But someone’s skin never tells us anything about whether they’re weird or smart or scary or nice or anything like that. Do you understand?
It’s his SKIN?!
Why God did paint him like a zebra? That’s WEIRD.
(I look at the game again. I walk up to the tv and point.)
Are you talking about this guy? In the stripes?
That’s the referee, Gideon. He makes sure everyone is following the rules.
Yeah. He’s weird. I would NOT want to be him.
Well, I think a lot of people agree with you, Bud.
And I don’t want to be the white guy, either.
Who do you want to be?
I want to be the blue guy.
(I look at the game again.)
You want to be on the team that wears the blue pants.
Yeah. They’re awesome.
Not the white pants… the “white guys.”
I know. And I am FAST, Mom. So fast.
There will be more conversations, I know… about weight and race and railroad tracks and religion and faith and tattoos and all those millions of feelings (learned or innate or bestowed) we must individually filter and hold up to the Light throughout a lifetime in the broken world. There will be so many more conversations.
Please, Lord, remind me to ask twice as many questions as may be obvious, to listen more than talk, and to be thankful for the dialogue. And, please- when it is time… every time… give me words that build and expand, not diminish. Give me actions that care and affirm my words. And give me a heart that is not afraid.