So, it goes like this:
[night-time, just before sleep]
boy: I’m gonna try my luck in the deer stand at dawn. I have a really good feeling.
girl: You bet. Also, I am the coolest wife you’ll ever have.
[morning, girl and child awake to boy walking hurriedly up from the back 40]
boy: I got him. I got it. I got a 10 point. I got a ten point buck.
[girl and child freak out and boy claps a little in boyish excitement]
[boy returns to the woods to tag the deer, dress the deer, and bring the deer up to the pole barn to hang for the day. The deer will stay in the pole barn until Boy returns from work, changes out of his button-down shirt, and takes the deer to the butcher.]
[boy calls at 5:30]
boy: I’m not going to make it. I’ve been in this meeting all day and we’ve still got two hours to go.
girl: Well, it’s cold enough. I’m sure Buck will be fine overnight.
boy: Yes… but, uh. Um, I’m going to need you to take it in for me.
girl: No problem.
boy: Seriously? Awesome. I’ll get it all ready for you tonight and put it on top of the Subaru.
[reality sinks in]
girl: On top of the Subaru? As in, strapped to the hood of the Ru whilst I drop Rylie off at preschool with hundreds of other small children, many of whom have emotional difficulties?
boy: Just park on the side. I’m sure it will be fine.
[girl is a bit stunned at the turns her life takes]
[the next morning girl takes child to the car, now parked in the barn]
[child balks a bit at the large cow(?) sleeping(?) on top of her sunroof]
[boy has managed to strap Buck down so that his front hooves are hanging over child’s door]
[girl manages to get hair snagged in Buck’s hooves, panic a little, free herself, and weakly smile at child as if everything is normal]
[girl takes child to school and shoos a circle of children away from car as she leaves in a blaze of shame and glory]
[girl drives Buck to butcher]
[butcher looks at deer]
butcher: Wow! That’s a real nice catch! Did you do it?
[girl looks down at her wool sweater, 30 pounds of baby-weight, and red Danskos… and then, without knowing exactly how or why, she responds]
girl: Yes. Yes, I did.
Please note the shadow of Abe in the Ru.
He was not pleased.
November 23rd, 2009 at 7:38 am
He could’ve covered it up at least! ; p
November 23rd, 2009 at 4:24 pm
I know! He even said he would, but he ran out of time. It was a sad, sad sight.
November 23rd, 2009 at 7:48 am
I hope Curt thanked you a great deal after this adventure. I talked to several peers here who all said “no way”. Good job.
November 23rd, 2009 at 7:53 am
November 23rd, 2009 at 7:54 am
you officially win wife of the year!
November 23rd, 2009 at 8:35 am
i just choked a little on my cereal. hilarious!
November 23rd, 2009 at 9:29 am
November 23rd, 2009 at 9:49 am
This is the best story in the whole wide world!
November 23rd, 2009 at 10:22 am
I told ya’ll ta get a truck ….. At least I know you’ll be able ta take mine in too.
November 23rd, 2009 at 4:25 pm
You have to get one first, Pap. Let’s not put the cart before the horse, eh?
November 23rd, 2009 at 11:20 pm
Hey, don’t get grounded, okay? I want to come see Rylie while you’re in Texas and I don’t want to miss out on that because you backtalked to your dad and got in trouble.
November 23rd, 2009 at 10:42 am
Thank you for the picture. I’m going to be laughing all day. (With you, not at you…okay, maybe a little bit at you…)
November 23rd, 2009 at 4:25 pm
That’s fine, that’s fine. You can laugh all the way to my freezer that will be stocked with jerky sticks and steaks 🙂
November 23rd, 2009 at 7:15 pm
and Roasts….yummmy What time is dinner???? =)
November 23rd, 2009 at 10:54 am
Thanks for the Monday morning laugh. I needed it!!
November 23rd, 2009 at 11:09 am
I laughed so hard, snot came out of my nose.
I LOVE LOVE LOVE that you lied.
November 23rd, 2009 at 4:27 pm
Heck yeah, I did. And I’d do it again. But, these people know me, so I don’t know how far the lie got before it got shot down. So to speak.
November 23rd, 2009 at 12:13 pm
Wow! That’s all I can say. Just “Wow!” You are awesome!!
November 23rd, 2009 at 1:57 pm
oh Thank you Thank you Thank you …..
I had to see it!!
November 23rd, 2009 at 2:15 pm
So funny! What a great story. Hope Rylie had a great birthday!
November 23rd, 2009 at 3:57 pm
I. Am. Dying here.
November 23rd, 2009 at 4:26 pm
I’m so glad. I’m honored to do this for all of you out there who need a little farm excitement in your city lives 😉
November 23rd, 2009 at 4:18 pm
Oh my gosh that is hilarious! Yes, I would have to nominate you for wife of the year too because no way would I have done that. Oh Abe does not look too pleased either. Congrats to Curt though!
November 23rd, 2009 at 6:58 pm
I rarely laugh at a blog, I am a tough LOLer but this got me laughing. I love this story especially the end. Send it to Reader’s Digest:)
November 23rd, 2009 at 7:00 pm
I am afraid to start laughing…I may not be able to stop for awhile!! Have Steph tell you her childhood encounter with the “Bambi” hanging in our garage one night…dark garage, glowing eyes reflecting the house light, drops of blood on the garage floor…greatness…scars for life. Tell boy that is one fine rack he has there.
November 23rd, 2009 at 10:48 pm
yah. i met that deer. traumatically. i could not eat that deer.
November 23rd, 2009 at 7:02 pm
This might top the car wash “incident”. Seriously, WRITE A BOOK!
November 23rd, 2009 at 9:53 pm
Car wash still wins, hands down. But this is a close second. I’m laughing. La-FF-ing.
November 23rd, 2009 at 10:50 pm
i’m so glad we chatted this morning. this story made me smile all day. and to finally see the picture this evening…and abe in the back. there are no words. i love you.
November 23rd, 2009 at 11:02 pm
GIGGLES. Giggles giggles giggles.
November 23rd, 2009 at 11:53 pm
I love it! Best story ever.
Today we were driving down the road of this neighborhood and there was this pickup on the side of the road with an 8-pointer laid out in the back. One guy guy was holding the antlers and another was sawing off the head with a hacksaw. (right below the chin). Naturally I put it in reverse to entertain my little future hunters in the backseat. we got there just in time to see him finish the head off (obviously not mounting that one) and hold it up with pride for us to see. It was a sight. I was happy that I am not easily grossed out. The boys were IMPRESSED as we are heading to the hunting lands of south Georgia with the in laws for Thanksgiving.
November 23rd, 2009 at 11:58 pm
BTW, I am so very impressed with the ten pointer though. Nice job Curt.
November 24th, 2009 at 12:50 am
Too funny…the things we do for the men we love! You are awesome! And hey, at least you weren’t the teacher having to answer all the kids questions about what they saw. I read this to Luke and showed him the picture- he was laughing the whole way thru. Now I’m worried that I might have given him some ideas for the future…oh well, it will probably happen one of these days, I may as well just come to terms with it now.
November 24th, 2009 at 2:52 pm
OH. MY. HANNAH. I just might need to send Emerson to you immediately to help you recover from this – YOU are amazing. Thank you for including the visual…it really sealed the deal 🙂
November 25th, 2009 at 11:17 am
I just read this out loud to my husband and mother-in-law. Laughing, I tell you, all 3 of us. Hilarious, hilarious story. I’ll be chuckling all day over it.
November 29th, 2009 at 1:22 am
Holy Cow, er, Deer, 35 comments. I’ve been sick, but this was worth the wait.
Admit it, you have hair on your chest now. 😀
November 16th, 2015 at 9:14 am
Sorry, but I am laughing so hard.
November 16th, 2015 at 10:02 am
It was and still is one of the more hilarious moments in my life. Laughing is allowed 😊