Mondays Laura and I have a standing date involving cheap food. We’ve done it twice now, which makes it a tradition. This week, I was 15 minutes early and decided to run the ol’ Subaru through the automatic car wash. This is a big deal. So big, in fact, that I had visions of Curt buying me diamonds for washing the 42 layers of country road dirt off my back windshield. Washing the car is the last thing on my mind these days, what with the war and elections and canning season here… so I figured I’d put those 15 minutes to good use. I paid the nice man and he guided me into the left wheel lane.

Now- I should admit here that I’ve had trouble with this kind of maneuver before. I may or may not have once ended up straddling the conveyor belt at a car wash across town and had to reverse out, causing 3 cars behind me to ALSO reverse out into on-coming traffic. AND, once I almost died by driving my car into the oil check pit. Again, marriage is good for me because The Boy usually takes care of these things at home. We are all safer for it, believe me.

Back to the car wash. Right. So. Monday. I pay the man, I successfully jump on the conveyor belt, I check my windows, I put the car in neutral. Things are good. As it gets a bit darker in the tunnel, Ry starts to panic a little. We sing a bit. All is well. Then the rumbling starts as the washers approach and the spraying starts. Ry starts to lose it. It’s stinkin’ loud in there. No problem. I decide I will take her out of her car seat and have her sit with me. Fun.

I unbuckle and turn around but cannot find Rylie. Oh, wait. There she is. UNDER ALL THE SUDS AND WATER THAT ARE POURING IN FROM THE WINDOW ACROSS FROM HER. I am a genius, people. Seriously. I totally checked the windows before I started. I totally did. *sigh* I used my remaining 2 minutes of being early to wipe down the back seat with my fleece jacket. The back seat is now very clean and my child is scarred for life.

That right there, Folks, is why I have always believed I live in a Dawson’s Creek episode minus the underage drinking and cyclical dating.

Dear Rylie,

I’m sorry about the car wash incident.

Love, Mom

About texasnorth

TexasNorth is a little farm in Western Michigan. It's home to 5 chickens, 25 longhorn cattle, a coonhound (Banjo), a bloodhound (Hank), 2 barn cats, a husband, and 3 ridiculously funny children. The mom of this zoo has been known to mow the lawn in a skirt and roast marshmallows after dark. View all posts by texasnorth

18 responses to “seriously

  • Julie

    Oh my gosh, you make me laugh Katie! I loved the canning/war/elections comment. And I am with you on maneuvering the car in those type of situations. I have spacial reasoning problems myself. Thanks for the entertainment this morning.

  • Mandi

    Oh, that is too funny!!

    A couple of years ago, I decided to treat myself to one of those car washes on my birthday. I ended up scratching up the whole side of my van–in a way that still baffles me–and then crying for 30 minutes at my failed birthday gift to myself.

  • sunday

    i secretly love that this stuff happens to you because you really make me laugh and you tell it so well! Thank you so much. So what are you like Joey or something?

  • Anonymous

    Oh gosh Katie…you are just too much! Thanks for the laughter!!


  • CortneyTree

    Darlin’, I knew you and I were supposed to be friends. You are my disaster twin–the lucky part for you is that when the “only this could happen to you” stuff happens to *me*, is usually involves bodily injuries. I fear for my future children. At least life is always entertaining! And your kid is clean! That’s called being efficient.

  • Amanda

    Awww…Katie. I understand. I really do. I lose my mind often. I have driven away THREE TIMES with the gas pump still in my car’s gas tank!


    Look at the bright side: Ry is getting real real tough. 🙂

  • amy

    giggle giggle.
    Makes for a good story!
    After its all over, its pretty hilarious, huh?

  • Miss Laura

    You are totally Joey Potter, though your angst is more subtle and amusing than hers is.

    I love those car washes, though I learned this week that they do not, in fact, remove tree sap. I’d like to take this moment to plug the Goo-Goo Car Wash on 28th Street in Wyoming – For $5 you get a car wash and all the free vacuuming you want, including a special floor mat machine, AND there’s a very clean restroom. My idea of heaven, thank you very much.

  • ecky

    i am totally afraid of those oil changing pits. i always imagine driving right into it and usually try to convince chris to drive…which he thinks is ridiculous. thanks for confirming my fears!!

  • Jimmy

    Way to start my day….Denise has had similiar concerns, and that’s why I like Curt do the car wash thing…she is in route to Jordan and Egypt by the way. I leave Tuesday.


  • Jessica, Myron and Rylie

    I think I just peed in my pants!

  • Janna

    just don’t go and marry tom cruise or anything like that, k? [i don’t want to wait–for our lives to be over–i want to know right now–what will it be] sing it with me.

  • Zoe

    those car washes CAN be tricky!
    and yes my sister is old enough to have a baby CRAZY.
    Hope Rylie, will one day brave another car wash 🙂

  • Anonymous

    Granpap says I’m gonna keep that baby in Texas ……..

  • EllieRichellie

    hee hee..hoo hoo. [wiping tears] hee hee. [deep sigh]

    In the last two weeks I have stood a friend up for lunch (b/c I was sitting on a bench outside the cafe w/ my nose in a book), ran out of bread and milk twice so that I couldn’t pack school lunches, and broken my own nose with a tennis racquet.

    You should not feel bad about forgetting to roll up the back window.

    But it is still a little funny. . .

  • Lisa...

    After countless humiliating and failed attempts to maneuver my left front tire in to a tiny track I can’t see (I’m convinced it’s really not even as wide as the tire)…I hand wash. I just don’t have that kind of tactical precision.

    As for Rylie – oh my gosh I laughed out loud. Hard. Poor kid. Next time remind her to carry her bumbershoot!!


  • Chelsey Meek

    I guess kids DO cry for real reasons…hmmm. Gonna have to rethink my whole parenting scheme now. Dang it.

  • Heather

    Katie…I think my grandma did this once… but to herself! she showed up on my aunt’s doorstep as the story goes… 🙂 ~Heath

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