She is yelling at me.
She is always yelling, in her way… our Little General. It is how she can be heard above her brother (who has never met a sound effect he didn’t like at full-volume), her sister (who has trouble with syntax but not chatter), and every other large and small distraction on this farm. She is loud and succinct.
COME GET ME.
“ABBY,” I say, calmly but with the aggravation of a mother who has nothing left to give. “ABBY. WHAT DO YOU NEED?”
COME. GET. ME.
Now, Abby is short. SHORT. And, we are all constantly reaching and lifting and leaning her in the direction she wants to go… to get wherever she is certain she needs to be. She bellowing from the bathroom, so I assume she cannot reach the sink (again). Or cannot get off the counter. Or the potty.
“COME GET YOU WHAT, dearest? WHAT do you need? Can you ASK me instead of yelling at me?” I lecture as I make my way down the hall.
I turn and stand in the threshold. She is sitting on the side of the tub- fully clothed, unharmed, and unfazed.
“Why have you been yelling for 5 minutes? You’re fine. What do you want?”
I jus’ wanted you.
“You wanted me to what?”
I jus’ wanted YOU- to come get me.
I want you to hold me.
And so, I did.
Habit has convinced me that I am no more than a longer pair of arms or the one who knows how to zip the coats. That I am the cook and the driver and the finder of lost things. The go-between. The chaperone and mediator for this little girl and this great big world.
The link… to everything else.
But, sometimes… SOMETIMES… I am the very thing she wants.
And, that is sunshine on the grayest of days.